A day in the life of well..me
General
Day 15 – I Found You
Sep 3rd
Hey again! It’s been a long day today, okay well..not really. I spent half the day tinkering around with PSP firmwares etcetera. But at least today I got to finally have a proper chat with Irene.
So yeah, I made my own version of a custom firmware, it runs pretty much any PSP game with most PSX games included. It now reads ’5.50 Venom Edition’ Whoot xP. I guess I do really have a knack for programming / software meddling.
After 3 hours of waiting for Irene to not be busy (yes, I really did wait that long) – hey I had a book to read and a PSP to play but it was still dead boring. It was well worth the wait though. I had to really push Irene today, she opened up to me and told me that she was still debating over me and this other person. But what’s new? Irene chose me in the end and she’s ‘gonna tell Jack soon as well. I mean, you can like an infinite amount of people if you want, BUT you can only love ONE person.
Think what you like, but I am really happy right now., Irene’s uncertainty should be thrown out the window and now we can work on our relationship in the future.
This is one big thing off my chest and I won’t have to worry about us two anymore. Tomorrow will just be the same old as any other day really, ’tis a Saturday (thank god!) so my family will be going to the flea market as usual. Speaking of which…my parents have been arguing constantly, about what? I have no idea, I had to actually lock them both in the kitchen because I didn’t want to start shouting to keep ‘em quiet.
I’ve still gotta start listing some stuff onto eBay, like my old PSP, helicopter, some games and an old Graphics Card too. Should net me some money, which I really need right now. Here’s how things will be working for me:
Money > Fix Visual Appearance > Job > MOAR money > Work on ‘The List’ > Stalk Irene in China / NL > ??? > Profits? Damn those underpant gnomes XD
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On a different note..I’ve realised I’ve started making my entries wayyy too long, I think I may start throwing some pictures in soon.
See yas tomorrow!
Day 14 – An Open Letter to Irene
Sep 2nd
Dear Irene,
Well, it’s been two weeks. I’ve changed quite a lot, I rarely play games and have no longer any addiction to them, yay. I’m starting to get my old shape back, I’m less lazy and a lot more productive. I thank you Irene, for the 2 weeks ‘break’ we had, it really helped me deeply.
However, even with all of this; there’s still one thing that cannot change. Call me whatever you like and feel free to think whatever you like, Irene. I’m just a hopeless romantic and I’m really in love with you, I was nowhere near this close with anyone before, even Jessica. But you, you’re far too different and you’ve become a big part of my life now, Irene. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying my life revolves around you, I too have my own life, my own family, my own friends and even my own hobbies. But having you there with me makes everything worthwhile.
It’s been 2 days now Irene, since you’ve decided to be with me again. Throw everything I’ve said to you the past month, forget everything. It is said that starting a new relationship with your ex is just that – A brand NEW relationship. But I don’t want that..I want the old one back, the old one that we both treasured so much and the one where we still have memories of; it was irreplacable.
I’m not here to say that I don’t trust you Irene, that’s wrong – I trust you a lot. I want things to return to the way it was. Even when you say you love me a few times I still feel lonely inside. I feel like I talk to myself on MSN half the time, you ignore most of what I say about my feelings so I do not know how I can even express myself to you.
Open up to me Irene..tell me how you truly feel, do you still long for our previous relationship? Do you still want to marry me in the future? And so on.
Here’s a quote from yourself, 2 years ago which explains how I’ve felt.
-hug- never thought id love any one at all. i thought my heart was cursed… but you came and stole it. thank you damie <3
Do one thing Irene before you sleep today. Turn off the lights, lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and listen to this song:
If you find me too loving, too ‘stalkery’, too dependant or whatever else you said before. Then tell me now, because you shouldn’t have to go through with this at all and you deserve someone better for you. I want to look to the future, it’s the one thing that keeps me going no matter how rough things may be for me.
- Damien
Day 8 to 13? – Shake, Shake, Shake it!
Sep 1st
Howdy! It really has been a while since i last wrote, here’s the update we were all looking for:
Last Thursday I went to Yorkshire to stay at my auntie’s place. I really NEEDED this break and by god it really did help. It cleared my head a lot, I mean for a guy like me not having internet = the end of the world, South Park much? uhm, not THAT badly I guess XD.
But yeah, Georgia came to London to come pick me up, mainly because I really had no clue how to get there (but being the fast learner I am I remembered how to get back!). So yeah, we came home at around..dinner time-ish only to be greeted by a bunch of her friends. I was somewhat shocked..I was never told about a sleepover / slumber party or whatever people call it. Thank god Kelly brought her brother along, else it’d have been too awkward being the only guy there. Hey! at least I had someone to play Super Smash Bros. Brawl with! bwhaha.
So whilst Georgia and the girls did their well, slumber party I just tried to somewhat hide out from it. Hide out as in, not even go into her room and just sit there and watch TV. Surprisingly enough, 20-21yr old girls can be..somewhat childish, gosh. I mean seriously..pillow fights? Who does that anymore!?
I decided to cut it short and come back a little early though. Hate to say it but it got kinda boring when everyone went back home and only Georgia was left, gah xO. Don’t get me wrong, she’s really fun to hang out with, but I’m just not in the mood lately. Carmella wasn’t there this time either – was too busy at home with the kid and what not, but yeah.
So..now’s for the shock. Irene decided she wanted to be with me, at first she was just unsure but I really had to put her on the spot and told her to make her decision. Short story short, there was really nothing wrong with me in the first place, she was just being..awkward and had feelings towards her childhood friend Jack. I’ve talked to him a few times in the past, i’ve never EVER seen him ‘lol’ at anything, he was far too serious-business. But I’ve made my decision to Irene clear though, she HAS TO work with me on this to repair the relationship, if she can’t..well, I’ll just show her the door.
So..plans for this week? Well, what’s left of it:
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* Read more, yes actual books this time
* Eat more painkillers for my toothache. Have to wait a week for my damn dentist appointment!
* Work on my appearance. I still look like a hobo. Okay..maybe not THAT bad but y’know XD. Things like haircut, going old-skool with my Patent Pending trademark Hairstyle w/ gel. I’m still contemplating dying my hair, but the only salons I know that do that are for women, gah! I’ll man up and do it eventually
* Sell quite a lot of junk still in my closet / Store Room thing.
* Start working on my ‘buy list’
* Work on my CV, I’ll probably need help. Eh..I’ll just steal Laura and Michael’s + some more from the internet. Then I’ll just use stuff from it and make my own CV.
That’s all I can think of right now..so bubye!
Day 7 – The Big ol’ Personality Test
Aug 26th
Well, Yeah I’m still at home right now. Georgia’s just upstairs hanging out and playing the XBOX, while I’m just here eating, packing and just doing some random tests. I took a bunch just now, googled random personality tests XD. Meh, I’m only going to post the HUGE 155 question one though, lmfao. Here we go:
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Advanced Big 30 Personality Test Results
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And here’s ze key for it:
Day 5 + 6 – Rollercoaster Baby
Aug 25th
Pretty much sums up how I feel right now.
Hmm, I’m not even sure how to describe these past two days. My heart’s been on a rollercoaster ride, one moment I’m great and the next it’s rock bottom. ‘Gotta get off this ride! ARGH. Irene’s still being as indecisive as always and now she makes it clear that she likes me AND another guy at the same time. Women are just weird, now she’s just gonna use us two to weigh her options and then make her choice or something..laaaame.
I blew off my friends today just to talk to Irene so I can get some stuff off my chest – that’ll be the last of it, I promise. The one thing I made clear to Irene the other day was that IF after her internship’s done and she wants me back, she WILL have to work hard for it. I’m not improving myself to be a better person for her, no way in hell. I’m doing it for myself, I’ll prove to myself that I can move on without her.
Life can throw whatever it wants at me, but I’ll always end up carrying on – I mean hey, I’ve gotten through this far already, right? I’m actually quite fine when I really think about it. I’m still *only* 20 years old, I’ve got plenty of time to study, enjoy my life and hopefully find love someday; I’m in no rush.
Anyway, these past two days I’ve had a crazy toothache. I took some 400mg Ibuprofen and gargled salt-water in my mouth for around 20 seconds, that definately did the trick. It still hurts but..yeah, I’ll give it another day or two before I actually go and see the dentist.
Tomorrow I’ll be ‘running away’ from everything and going to my auntie’s place in Yorkshire for around a week, until I get bored really. It’s pretty much the safest place for me to go without internet, no one to really talk to and what not. Georgia will be there though and Carmella might visit as well, so I’ll pretty much just be playing the wii or something. Oooh, I also got her to get me into her kickboxing class – should be fun, though I’m still a little rusty at sparring xO.
Nothing else worth adding really, ciao!
Day 4 – It’s a beautiful day!
Aug 23rd
Kickass song indeed.
I feel great today, I slept like a baby last night. I didn’t toss, turn and worry about my future like I did the other night. Time really does heal all wounds, though I still have a tiny bit of a heartache left, it’ll be all right. Irene runs off without talking properly all the time, she ignores half the things I say and she’s constantly unsure. But you know the funny thing? She wants me to wait around for her until Christmas. Sorry to burst your bubble there, but I can’t promise you anything Irene.
So far today I’ve dug up through my desk drawer and dug out my old Sim Card (the one with the awesome number, 07999144744). I popped it in and txted o2 to change my tariff to the same one I have now. I also ordered a new Top-Up card so I’ll be using this number pretty soon. I’ve still got credit on the other sim card so I guess I’ll wait until that runs out.
I’m going to be uploading all the txt messages I have and gonna be storing them onto the PC. If Irene ends up making her decision wanting to be with me then..I can just keep the messages for something to look back on, memories if you want to call it. If not, well..like everything else, it’ll be put into a folder and dumped into a deep corner of the D: drive.
I need a new phone also..I’ve decided which one to get as well and it only costs £50! Plus it’s got a touch-screen! zomg xO. So..yeah, I wanna get rid of my old phone – Carphone Warehouse are offering me £10.80 for a trade-in, but I think my mom wants to buy it from me for the same price o.0. Funny enough, out of my whole family, my phone’s in the best condition…they all have new phones and such and mine’s 4 years old!!
That’s all for now, it’s only 10:30 here, sheesh. May update later, see yas! 
Day 3 – Big Head Mode ON
Aug 22nd
So..yeah, last night I could barely sleep. Maybe it’s stress or maybe it’s the paranoia I’ve been having of Irene lately. *slaps self* Keep it together Damien. Needless to say I feel like she’s hiding things from me and is planning on hurting me further, that’s just how I feel right now – no need to take it seriously. This whole heartache thing is affecting anything I do really, only time can heal it I guess. I still miss her a lot though, she says the same back to me as well, but the fact that she dodges a lot of the things I say could mean she’s just giving me false hope. That’ll be a sad excuse for a human being if that was the case, I don’t believe she is that kind of person at all though, well we’ll see what happens in the future.
So..today I’ll be trying out a new fitness routine to compare it with my old one and yadayadayada. Today will pretty much be a usual day for me: It’s a Sunday and the rain-clouds are up.
There’s quite a lot of stuff I outta do in this time though, maybe I should start up on my CV and carry on learning to program Java, hmm, I don’t know yet. But, until I get myself a job, nothing in my life is going to change; I’ll have no money to pay off tuition fees, get a driver’s license and so on.
’til next time! *poof*
Day 2 – Levelling Up
Aug 21st
Before you say anyt- shush! This is not about me playing games but rather me becoming a better person, both physically and mentally. Well I guess you can think of it like this: Life to me is like playing an RPG with the best graphics you can get, though you can’t revive yourself if you get your head eaten by a giant dragon..
Aaaaanyways, what I’m trying to say here is that I’ve just been reading a lot of literature, been working out a lot and taking breathing exercises. +10 Agility, +10 Intelligence and +10 Magic gained, yay!
I’ve taken quite the hit when Irene broke up with me 2 weeks ago, us guys spiral into depression pretty much. We beg, we plead, we offer change and anything to have them back in our lives. Here’s an article I found on another site that actually helped quite a lot:
http://www.twistedvenom.com/zero/?page_id=15
Read through it all, it’s actually a great read.
I’ve ‘bitten the dust’ twice now, it still hurts a tiny bit but I’ve gotta move on. I’ve given Irene some time to herself to hurry up and make up her mind, if not then I won’t be around chasing her. I’ll find someone new eventually and hopefully that someone will love me back and we’ll happily live together. Here’s a quote, from myself actually, to end this post:
“If they are weak enough to leave you, be strong enough to let them go”
Relationships have to be worked on every day otherwise they’ll fade. Whoever needs ‘space’ is not willing to do the work to make it ‘right’.
Day 1 – It all starts here
Aug 20th
August 20, Day 1 of this whole ‘adventure’.
I myself, know I cannot carry living my life like this. I’m sure a lot of us out there wish we could play Video Games all day without any drawbacks such as, losing friends, getting fat, being poor and god knows what else. People may try to prove me wrong, but I’m firm in believing that some are just born luckier than others, oh well. I’ve been through a lot these past 5 years, I’ve seen people come and go through my life so fast it’s unbelievable.
Oh well, that’ll be in the past, time for me to change. This blog will be updated as much as I can. Here’s some lyrics from the song Rise Against – Survive, that kept me thinking and looking forward to a brighter future.
Life for you, has been less than kind
So take a number, stand in line
We’ve all been sorry, we’ve all been hurt
But how we survive, is what makes us who we are
Great song, great band.
Well that’s it for now I guess, thanks for reading. Adios
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